Our Story — Vivian Daniel Counseling

Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy

Deep healing

You’ve read the books, tried to incorporate self-help strategies, and tried traditional talk therapy. These can work for awhile. But what do you do when the self-doubt, imposter syndrome, people-pleasing, fears, and shame return?

To others, it seems like you have it together and your life looks good, but on on the inside, you have an unrelenting inner critic that tells you that you are not good enough, followed by a shame spiral until you are so overwhelmed you shut down part.

You are tired of this cycle and want to have a more stable sense of who you are to change these patterns so that you can enjoy what you have worked so hard to build.

What is Internal Family Systems Therapy?

Did you ever watch the movie Inside Out or Inside Out 2 and relate to having a sad part, a joy part, an anxiety part, a bored part, an angry part? In IFS therapy, we work with these with normal parts within all of us and help them so that they can work together instead of overwhelming you or taking over in ways that are unhelpful.

If you have ever felt conflicted, ambivalent, or indecisive about an issue, you have experienced parts within yourself that each have different feelings and are trying in their own way to protect you.

In Internal Family Systems therapy, we work on getting to know these parts and how they respond to events in your life. We do this exploration at a safe pace that is compassionate and understanding so that healing can happen.

Frequently Asked Questions

about Internal Family Systems Therapy

Internal Family Systems can help with self-doubt, anxiety, overwhelm, anger, shame, self-criticism, burnout, depression, trauma, anxious or avoidant attachment . This type of therapy can help with understanding yourself better and improving your ability to feel more calm, confident, and have more clarity.
Internal Family Systems is a type of parts work therapy. There are several therapy methods that work with different aspects or parts of ourselves. Internal Family Systems is a gentle, compassionate, and trauma-informed approach to parts work.
Everyone has a true or core Self that they are born with. This is your innate inner wisdom that is centered and confident.
We also have parts that try to help.
These include Manager parts that try to control things to prevent potential problems. Some examples are the inner critic, the caretaker, the perfectionist, the planner.
Firefighter parts try to quickly get rid of emotional pain by distracting us or through numbing behavior. Examples include compulsively scrolling, overworking, drinking or using drugs, shutting down.
These part are doing their best to try to help. But it can result in over functioning and exhaustion or protection in unhealthy even destructive ways.
In IFS, our Exiles are our young parts. These are our inner children parts that hold our early memories and shaped by our childhood experiences. Exiles carry fear and emotional wounds from deeply painful or traumatic experiences in our life. When we carry these untreated emotional wounds, we feel fear, sadness and shame and we think that we are alone, broken, unlovable.
In IFS therapy, we are not trying to get rid of or fix our parts. Instead, we are trying to build connection and trust between all of our parts and our core Self. This can help our Manager and Firefighter parts not have to work so hard to protect us.
It is healing the wounds carried by our young Exile parts that are stuck in painful memories of our past by gently and compassionately providing the care and support these parts need and guiding them to release their emotional burdens.
The goal of IFS therapy for our Managers, Firefighters, and Exiles to work together under the caring, courageous, confident, and calm guidance of our core Self.
You would be doing IFS therapy with a therapist who has had 90 hours of intensive training through the official IFS Institute to safely guide you with compassion and care to knowing your parts and your Self.
This is trauma-informed therapy that prioritizes collaboratively working together at a pace that is comfortable for you.
I explain the neuroscience behind IFS so that you know how IFS can change your brain.
I am also a certified Brainspotting therapist who is trained in Brainspotting parts and Self. Brainspotting can complement IFS as both types of therapy have neurobiological aspects. Integrating Brainspotting with IFS therapy can be especially helpful with the deep work that is needed for lasting healing from childhood trauma.